Walmart Is Stupid

So tomorrow is race day here in Atlanta. (Ironically, the Nationwide Race qualifying actually got delayed this morning because of snow). So, we made a quick run to Walmart to get some essentials.

As is often the case, Donna and I decided to divide and conquer while we were in the store. Typically, I tend to find myself mysteriously drawn to the electronics department by unknown forces. I looked around a little bit, and then I remembered I was wanting to get some cheap earbuds. I picked up a $20 pair of Koss earbuds, not exactly a premium electronics item.

So I went meandering about some more, and eventually met up with Donna in a different part of the store. I tossed the earbuds in the cart and we looked around a little more. I wanted to show her something in electronics, in case she was looking for ideas for things to put in my Easter basket, so we went back through there. As we were passing through, some Walmart trooper eyed those high-end earbuds in the cart, and told my wife "Ma'am, you can't leave electronics with those, you'll have to pay for them here."

Well, we weren't done shopping. And I explained to her that I had already basically been all through the rest of the store with them once. (I later enjoyed pointing out to Donna that nobody ever hassled me about them while I had them - obviously she must have looked suspicious). It's not like there was a sign posted stating that you had to pay for items there. It's a very open area too, not its own little sectioned off area. She reiterated that we couldn't leave electronics with the earbuds. So I took them out of the cart and told her she could keep them. Turns out we were done shopping there after all.

It really annoys me to go somewhere to spend my hard earned money and basically be treated like a criminal. Another example of this is the stupid deal where they have to stop you and look at your receipt when you walk out the door. It's not as if they actually take the time to confirm that everything matches up, it's just another additional way of them imposing themselves on you.

I have also adopted a policy of not stopping when the inventory control thing goes off because the minimum wage employee forgot to swipe some item over the demagnetizer or whatever the thing is. If a human being wants to ask to see my receipt or whatever, fine. But I refuse to be a Pavlovian dog who hears a bell go off and reflexively submits to my retail masters.

Yeah, I probably need to cut back on the caffeine.

Attempted Manslaughter By A Conspiracy of "Parktards"

We interrupt the regularly schedule radio silence of this blog to provide you with a news bulletin regarding the attempted manslaughter of this blog's author by a conspiracy of two nameless, faceless "parktards".

What is a "parktard" you might be wondering? Well, Webster's defines it as ... well, ummm. OK. Actually, Webster's doesn't define it. At least I don't think it does. I'm too lazy too look it up. But I'm pretty sure Webster's doesn't actually define it. So, I will.

Parktard is a term I have lovingly coined to describe those individuals who exhibit the symptoms of a very specific mental retardation. That is, the inability to park their vehicle within the narrow confines of the designated parking space, often with absolute disregard for the physical safety and mental health of those who may wish to park in an adjacent space or, even worse, someone who is already occupying said adjacent space.

Yesterday, I was the victim of a well-financed and highly organized conspiracy of two parktards, executed with nearly lethal efficiency. Here, we see parktard number one pictured.

Upon arriving back at my office for lunch, this parktard was parked two spaces away from the space I parked in. As you can see he was parked way over the line. It was at that time that I made the near-fatal assumption that nobody would be foolish enough to try to squeeze their vehicle into the remaining space.

Which leads us to parktard number two:

I discovered the co-conspirator as I was ready to depart my office. By this time, parktard number one had left the scene of the crime. As you can see, there was precisely one inch of clearance between the passenger side of the second parktard and my vehicle. I attempted to enter my vehicle on the driver's side, but the futility was quickly obvious. Left with no alternative, I opted to enter my rather small vehicle from the passenger side. While the execution of this maneuver was successful, you can see that it came at great cost and personal injury.

I initially planned on driving to the emergency room to see about getting some stitches to seal up the wound, but it was a Friday afternoon, and there was a lot of traffic, so I decided to live on the edge and tough it out. What can I say? That's how I roll.

Read Full Post

Dish Networks Rocks! (Yes, that was sarcasm)

This was a first. Somehow all three of our Satellite receivers managed to lose their marbles today, and turning them off and on was not sufficient to revive them.

I woke up this morning with the local TV news on but no sound on the TV. I checked the TV volume and it was on. So I tried switching channels. Still no sound from the TV station, but the little bloops and bleeps that Tivo makes were clearly audible. Hmmm.

So I grabbed the satellite remote, guessing it must be the receiver. I had once had all the colors turn purple, and at first thought it was the TV, but when I found the Tivo menus were all in their proper colors, turning the satellite receiver off and on fixed it. So, I turned it off, waited a few seconds, and then turned it back on. Sound came back, but it sounded like some sort of demon posession had taken hold of the news anchor. I tried switching it off and back on again, which led to no sound at all again. One more try, back to demon posession. Knowing that the remote was not completely powering the satellite receiver down, I pulled the plug, waited a few seconds, and plugged it back in. Everything back to normal. Cool. Didn't give it much more thought... until I got home from the work at the end of the day.

I switched on the TV in our living room and the satellite receiver was displaying the message that you usually only see when its raining really heavy, indicating that it couldn't find a signal. For awhile, we had a Dish DVR and it used to get in this state all the time. Our other two regular receivers would always be fine, but the DVR would always be showing this "no signal" screen. Generally, we'd have to disconnect the power to get it out of that state.

So I cut the power, waited a few seconds, and switched it back on. It went through finding all its transponders and what not, said it was downloading the program guide information, and then just as it was about to display live television, went back to the no signal screen. Grrrrr! I remembered I'd had a weird problem with the receiver in the bedroom onetime where one of the channels had disappeared from the program guide (the History Channel. Yes, the History Channel! I LOVE THE HISTORY CHANNEL!!!!). I remembered I had futzed around with the menus in the Installation section and found something that said "QAM Scan/Signal", and after letting it go through that, it added History Channel back. So I decided to try that again with the Living Room. Sure enough, after going through that (it took a few minutes) Mr. Satellite receiver was happy.

I thought it strange that two of our three receivers had gotten screwed up on the same day. Which made me think maybe I should check the third receiver, in the office. Sure enough, it was in the same hosed-up state as the one in the living room. Tried just disconnecting and reconnecting the power and it did the exact same thing as the receiver in the living room. Did the QAM Scan/Signal and was really proud of myself, until the receiver said "Your Smart Card Is Not Authorized to Receive This Channel". Doh! Fortunately, that appeared to be resolved by just waiting a couple of minutes, and then it decided, that I was indeed entitled to view the programming I pay a ridiculous fee for each month.

I don't know what kind of weird mojo occurred that managed to screw up all three of our receivers. I assume it was some kind of update from Dish, although I suppose maybe it could have been a power surge. I should mention that we're in an apartment and they have this weird setup where instead of having your own Dish, there's one "community" Dish that pulls the signal and distributes it throughout the community. Supposedly that was why we had so many problems with the DVR. I don't totally understand it, but apparently it's not as simple as just distributing the signal from the one Dish to everybody's receiver, there's some kind of special switching equipment and (buggy) software involved.

Unfortunately I don't have any good alternatives. There's no cable available in this complex (I guess because of whatever deal they have with Dish). And we don't have line of sight to put up our own dish. Good times.

Read Full Post